Me And My Crazy Tribe
So, I was a very young 21 when I had my first baby which is now 13 years ago.
I was completely clueless and terrified of birth. I suffered with depression and anxiety throughout my pregnancy and had many phobias. My midwife was lovely and taught me a few breathing techniques and I thought that would be enough. However, when my birth came, I was not prepared in the slightest and I did not manage well. My birth was an extremely traumatic experience for me, with lots of intervention. I tore very badly and was told that I would never birth naturally again!
As you can imagine, when I became pregnant again, 10 years later, I was very afraid.
You see, we plan for a baby, we get excited when we get that positive test. We imagine our baby being here, pick cute outfits and make a list of possible names.
And then that dreaded feeling in the pit of your stomach kicks in...
Oh my gosh, I've got to give birth!
Sometimes we push that feeling to the back of our head and hope for the best, which is pretty much what I did with my first.
However, this second time round, I needed hope. I didn't want another negative experience and the thought of a caesarean terrified me!
That's when I found Hypnobirthing.
Honestly, I went on to have an absolutely picture perfect home water birth, surrounded by all of the fairy lights and people who meant the most to me.
It was beautiful.
When I got pregnant with my third baby, only 18 months later, for some reason, I felt even more afraid!
I believed that I had just gotten lucky with my second birth and felt that I was not really prepared for any changes that could have happened. I planned this perfect homebirth which I thankfully got, but I would have freaked out if things would have gone down an alternate route.
So, with my third pregnancy, I practiced everything exactly the same, but I educated myself and prepared for the different outcomes.
An induction, a caesarean, how to remain calm in any emergency situation or during any change. I felt more confident than ever.
I did have another beautiful homebirth, I felt more in control than the last time, it was such a surreal labour.
However, shortly after I had given birth, I was rushed to hospital with heavy bleeding. This obviously wasn't part of the plan and it was a very scary situation for everyone.
But, I used all that I had learnt.
I was calm and in control of me and my feelings.
Even though my birth plans completely changed, the whole experience remained positive and I look back and feel proud of myself.
From there, I grew an enormous passion for wanting to support women just like me and help remove the stigma that comes with birth and motherhood. My course is more than just birth preparation, it is to help women realise what they already have, the strength, courage and power within them. Help them overcome the hurdles and challenges that we face through pregnancy and motherhood, and help create a community of strong and empowered women.
"Respecting the woman as an important and valuable human being and making certain that the woman's experience while giving birth is fulfilling and empowering is not just a nice extra, it is absolutely essential as it makes the woman strong and therefore makes society strong"